Dating Apps are Indian Parents-as-a-Service

One of the most common reasons for creating technology is to do what humans do, but faster, better, and cheaper (or a combination of these). But there are very few technologies that deliver on this canon within Silicon Valley software circles as completely as one stand-out candidate: The Dating App.

Never has there been a technology that more effectively mimics human practice so completely. So unwittingly. While it has many variants, we will narrow our focus here to those dedicated to resolving the trials and tribulations of the majority: members of the singles market oriented to desire companionship of the opposite sexYes, I mean straight people..

With myriad names—one conveys that it is the linchpin of civilisation-scale propagation while another is (rather appropriately) capturing that we are merely pollinators fluttering from one flower to another in search of divine nectar—The Dating App is designed to serve a cornucopia of resplendent creatures to a seeker. One of whom might one day become your partner. Potentially, for life.

Unbeknownst to the Western lover, the average parents of Indian origin offer exactly this service to their offspring, once they attain what is commonly referred to as marriageable age. Parents gather a list of potential suitors for their child with the same key identifiers: names, age, images, education and employment informationOrientation is, of course, irrelevant for we are all assumed to be straight.. This marriage curriculum vitae—commonly called the biodata—is no different from the information shown on a user profile on The Dating App. The Dating App imitates the interface mechanics of this Indian matchmaking process. QED 1.

Much like the apps work their algorithmic charms endlessly to woo into your life the ideal soulmate, Indian parents (with the outsourced support of the extended family and their extended relatives) diligently work their inner circles in search of a marriageable age soulmate. Both apps and parents tirelessly shill the many virtues of their incredibly attractive, highly accomplished, and extremely available treasure until a made-to-order partner is signed, sealed and delivered to the doorstep of the rest-of-your-life. The Dating App imitates the objectives of this Indian matchmaking process. QED 2.

Both systems use similar information and mechanics to answer the question of whom do I wish to spend the rest of my life with¹. But perhaps the most noticeable daily similarity in my life is not these systems’ interface mechanics and outcomes but rather the daily excruciatingly painful reminders of potential partnership. Parents are relentless in presenting you endless options, given a chance. And, of course, we know how The Dating App is similarly limitless in showing us faces of the many soulmates we can never have. QED 3.

But their similarity doesn’t end here; both are now creating efficient markets of singleness: the most efficient way to keep educated and independent-minded people uncoupled for life. I call this the efficient market hypothesis of singleness; without single people the market would be inefficient.

The Dating App is unreasonably effective at keeping single people single. In the Western World, these artificial social and technological interventions inventions are demonstrating that the youth are resistant to coupling up based on information-rich and data-driven matches. The Indian youth are similarly resistant to the Indian matchmaking, instead seeking agency and control over their romantic lives. Of course, in their search, they turn to The Dating App, not realising that the same experience, mechanics, and outcomes await them here. QED 4.

It’s upon these single souls that our species’ seemingly tenuous propagation hinges. Yet, in both Eastern and Western cultures, we are seeing declining total fertility rates² and birth ratesThe number of live births per 1,000 people in the total population per year. It’s a simple ratio using the entire population as the denominator.. Perhaps there is another disruptor lurking around the corner but until then, we are at the mercy of The Dating App and Indian parents.